Abe Wagner's Ultimate Fighter Blog: Everyone Knows That Peanut Butter M&M's Are...

Abe Wagner's Ultimate Fighter Blog: Everyone Knows That Peanut Butter M&M's Are Delicious



Following each episode of The Ultimate Fighter Heavyweights, Team Rampage member Abe Wagner will share his thoughts on what happened on camera and behind the scenes.

A lot of the beginning of the episode centered around Matt and his head injury. I wasn’t personally very convinced of his head injury and thought he was continuing to play the game the way he had been up to this point. A prime reason why I felt that way was he came up to me eating peanut butter M&M’s and asked me if it was normal for them to be delicious or if his brain was really that messed up. This was obviously a joke because everyone knows that peanut butter M&M’s are delicious. In my experience people with real brain trauma have no humor; it just doesn’t occur to them. So that he was able to make jokes with me made me think that his head injury wasn’t in fact that bad.

At any rate, Matt ended up going to the hospital for observation over night. We all assumed he was out of the competition at this point since it was our understanding that if we had a hospital stay of any kind, we’d be out of the competition. That’s why it was such a big deal a few episodes back with Marcus and his dehydration. He probably just needed an IV, but he was afraid to go to the hospital for that reason.

The next prank by Rampage and Tiki was to put live chickens in their rental cars. The idea of live chickens was funny, but it didn’t occur to me outright that along with chickens comes chicken poop. Their cars were disgusting; I’m not sure how they got them back to the rental place as I don’t think they could be driven without being covered in excrement. When the chickens got out, everyone was running around trying to catch them. Coach Van Arsdale pulled out this strangely curved piece of thick wire and went and caught a few of them. He told us he used to be a chicken farmer and the metal thing was a chicken catcher. I couldn’t help but think: what the hell is he doing with a chicken catcher in his rental car in the middle of Las Vegas? I mean I could see him owning one in general, or maybe even him happening to have one in his own personal vehicle, but to be out of town with a rental car and have it there was a little strange. He said you never know when you’re going to need it, and I guess ultimately he was right.

Going into the fight, I agreed with Brendan that it would likely be a stand up war since their respective ground games would cancel each other out. And as it turns out, we were right. Watching the fight, I’m not sure how Justin didn’t come away with the first round. But Justin was putting everything on every punch and Roy fought a better pace and had more left at the end of the fight. Being that I thought Wren for sure won the first round, when the fight was called over, I thought he had won the fight. I think everyone there thought there should have been a third round, but yet again the judges do what they’re getting to be famous for and gave a majority decision to Roy that seemed to defy reason or observation of the fight.

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  1. Well I happened to be eating Peanut Butter M&Ms while reading this blog entry, so I think that qualifies me to speak expertly on the matter. I propose that your analysis is somewhat flawed. While Peanut Butter M&Ms are always delicious, there is a scientifically-valid reason for Peanut Butter M&Ms to seem more delicious than usual to Matt Mitrione following his fight, and it has nothing to do with his brain being mangled. Peanut Butter M&Ms exploit the sweet/salty combo, and the reason salt tastes good is because we need a lot of it, in situations where our salt is depleted, such as after vigorous physical activity inducing profuse perspiration, salt will taste even better than usual. So Matt may have noticed the Peanut Butter M&Ms tasting better than usual after his fight because of depleted electrolytes from his fight. Did you see him drink sports drinks after his fight, or just water or juice? If he wasn’t drinking sports drinks, then I think my theory on the Case of the Extra-Delicious Peanut Butter M&Ms is probably correct!

    As for the fight, the first time I watched it for entertainment value, I thought Justin won the first round, too. But when I saw it again and started counting strikes rather than enjoying the fight, it was obvious Roy won round 1. Judges are in the unenviable position of not being able to enjoy fights when they are watching them, instead trying to keep up with recording the stats. Maybe they should stop scoring fights that way and just sit back and watch them like the fans do, then making up their minds at the end about who wins, because at least that way the fans and the judges would be on the same page, and we wouldn’t see so much complaining about supposed bad decisions.

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